What I found upstairs

So my upstairs neighbor has a lot of comics. A lot. I’m sure he doesn’t have the largest collection of any single person, but certainly the largest collection I’ve ever seen. I mean it’s big enough that we joke that the literal ton of comics will someday crash into my kitchen. Yeah, we…um…joke. Helping him organize during my hiatus from posting I came across more than a few gems. Here is one of my favorites from 1975’s, The Scorpion #1.


Vest…line with…chain mail! Holy crap. Look at the face of the villain’s face. He's getting one heck of a towel snap. Only in comics would you find an idea as wondrous as this. How hasn't it rolled over to real life? I can’t tell you how many times something like this would come in handy. Let’s say I’m at a movie theater and some meathead is yacking to his girlfriend during the film. Let’s say it’s Science of Sleep. I’m enjoying my Gael Garcia Bernal and Charlotte Gainsbourg time and this dude just won’t stop talking. I’ve given him a “Head Turn” and a “Shush”, and still “blah blah blah.” You know what then? Ha-Cha! He gets a face full of armor-lined deerskin. I’d even sport my very own death's head grin. Of course mine would be more soft and inviting rather than cold and mirthless. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

And who came up with the fashion marvel? Who is credited with conceiving, writing and illustrating this comic? Howard “Galactic Space Vagina” Chaykin himself. No that's what I'm talking about.