Have a drink. It might help that mortis attitude of yours.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Suiting up with Spider-man

So in case you have been living under a rock or in some dark cave you should know two things 1) Mandisa deserves to be the next American Idol (I'm watching the show for the first time ever and finding myself hooked) and 2) Peter Parker has got himself a new suit.

Now, I am not going to be one of those people who goes storming the Marvel offices with pitchforks and torches. I am all for a costume change, hell I was even cool with Daredevil's new duds that he sported mid-90's. If I was a superhero I would want to shake it up every three or four years. Who wants to wear the same super threads his entire career? You've got to change with the times. Thank god Nightwing did or we would still be seeing that high collar. I say go with the costume change.

No my beef with this new outfit is that it comes very close to taking away the things that make Spider-man...well Spider-man. Spider-man isn't a gliding, thermal spectrum seeing, bullet taking type of superhero. He is just a kid who got bit by a spider, got some powers and knew he had to step up to the plate. Peter Parker as a hero is defined more by the powers he doesn't have than the powers that he does have. He can't fly so he swings, making him very city dependent. Come on how many times have you loved seeing him hitch a ride on a car? Now, who needs buildings?

Spider-man is not invulnerable. In fact quite frequently he gets his ass handed to him. I'm talking beat. We've seen him break bones, get concussions, get his eye ripped out and eaten and most recently we've seen him KILLED. Yet, he always gets up and comes back for another licking. He is even more of a hero for it and we love him for doing so. Now he can just turn around and let himself take one in the spine because it's cool. His new armor will protect him. No more acrobatics, no more dodging while shouting clever quips. Just Spidey yawning while getting hit by bullets from all directions. Rob a character of the challenges that he has been facing for his whole career he will start to get boring. The character will become weaker and eventually be a shell of his former self.

I don't think the costume will stick. I have a feeling that sometime during Civil War Peter is going to feel played and throw his costume in Iron Man's face. Then it'll be back to the red and blue again and maybe some wistful, "I wish I was still bulletproof." comments. I do hop this happens because the Marvel Universe is already has a fast talking, flying, armored jerk.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The many faces of Booster Gold Pt.1

Booster Gold. The "Pete Rose of the future" who traveled back in time to become a present day hero, the type of person that he couldn't be in the 31st Century or whenever he is from. As the people at DC are setting our dear Booster to be a big power in the DCU lets take a look at just one of the many different styles that this soon to be super power has sported.

I take us back to May of '87 our Booster was the pinnacle of cool; white suit, skinny tie, the whole deal. He could fly, he could lift scale models of buildings, he had a robot buddy, hell Booster could have been a member of the Hong Kong Cavaliers. What he couldn't do is tie his shoes.

Did Mama Gold simply not teach Baby Gold how to tie his shoes? Perhaps they did not have shoelaces in the 31st century? Maybe they had those cool shoes like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future II, the kind that just form to your feet and that shoe lacing portion of Booster's brain never developed. Once Booster came back to our time he just couldn't get it right. "Is it the bunny goes round the loop and down the hole? Wait loop, loop, lemonade, around the corner...that's not. F@&* This! I'm punching something. Skeets get me a skinny tie and a beautiful woman!"

Monday, February 27, 2006

A good hero, a great villain

This past weekend I attended the New York City Comic Con. The stars, the comics, the lines. The real highlights for me were the panels. Dan Didio, Bob Kane, Geoff Johns, Phil Jimenez, Brad Meltzer and the rest seemed like really nice people who love comics and really appreciate their readers. Amid the revealing of The Flash cover (which looks amazing) and not really revealing anything about Dick Grayson (why wouldn't people shut up about that) Didio said something that stuck with me. He said that no one wants to see a story where Superman takes out a couple of crooks robbing a corner store. That would be boring. Instead you need greater villains to really push your heroes to the max thereby creating great stories. So I have to ask...

What the hell is this?

I'm serious. Where is the amazing villain that Blue Beetle is supposed to face off against? If a great hero is only brought about by an even greater evil where is the challenge in the Ball Chucking Kid? Who is the genius who came up with Captain Jai-Alai here? I see it now. Our mystery writer was probably sitting around one Sunday morning with a serious case of creative block. He or she decides watching some ESPN 2 will get those juices flowing and what comes on but a game with a three walled court and wicker cestas. "Eureka," the person says. "This sport is amazing! What if I replaced a regular ball with globes of plasma?" And so villain history was made.

To make matters worse in the previous issue old Blue Beetle faced off against the bad guy referred to as "Ski Mask". Guess what he wore on his head?

Now, I'm not one of those bring back Ted Kord fanatics. When my heroes die I want them to stay dead and Ted bought it in a very heroic, moving way. All I'm saying is that if DC gave him something a little harder to fight perhaps Beetle would have turned into a hero that wouldn't have been so expendable.


So I really got nothing pithy to say about this. There is just something about this picture that made it first post material. I miss the days when having bubble hands and a unitard slit down the middle to your giant belt buckle was all you needed to be a superhero.