Have a drink. It might help that mortis attitude of yours.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

1+1 =3

O.k. so there are three weeks left in 52 and I’m still no closer to figuring the whole thing out. One of my co-workers said to me today, “You are just the demographic DC is hoping for.” You know, because I’m putting so much time and effort into this whole thing. What can I say but that I’m a little obsessed. So on with more thoughts.

I’m sure everyone remembers the famous Rip Hunter chalkboard. I, for one, have loved watching the clues unfold; how the writers at DC told us everything they were going to do in a whole year’s worth of comics. That is some fancy planning. Now, one of the clues that has always felt unresolved is the equation. You know this one:

Here is the obvious: TE is Tellium, Tellium’s atomic number is 52, thus it is 52 vs. the sum of AU (Gold) and Pb (Lead.) This the equation at its core. Many on-line have theorized that the Gold referred to Booster but that didn’t take the lead into account. Others have theorized it’s 52 vs. the Metal Men. This is also a valid theory, although at this point I think it is not likely. Besides, we’re talking the sum of the two; the Metal Men don’t quite fit when you think of it that way.

Now Gold’s atomic number is 79 and Lead’s is 82 giving us 161. I remember reading somewhere that a person counted all the little circled 52’s on the chalkboard and came up with 160. I figured, “Hell, maybe he was off by one.” That suggests it is 52 of something versus 161 of something. Heroes vs. New Universes, maybe? Every time I counted though, my number changed and not once was it 161.

Well, then the posters for Countdown came out and that started my research all over again. I looked up things like “Darkseid and 161” and so on. The only thing I got was the cover to Jimmy Olsen #161.

Maybe that is why Olsen must die? Nah, that felt far fetched even for me.

Then this in 5.2 about 52 for this week came out. Mike Siglan was nice enough to tease us with that beautiful splash page. I would put it up but Newsarama is having difficulties.

Anyway, looking at it I came to a realization. The numbers probably have nothing to do with it at all. It could be the colors that are important. Gold is, of course, the color of gold. Lead, while in reality a gray-blue, is always drawn as black. That would mean the equation is 52 vs, Gold and Black – the colors of Khandaq, the colors of Black Adam. Now, there are only thirty-odd heroes taking on Black Adam in the picture but there could be heroes not drawn into the splash page. Mary Marvel is on the cover but not present.

Maybe the 52 are the heroes who fight Black Adam. Maybe the same 52 heroes are the ones that the “Shadow Demons” are afraid of. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. So many maybes. The answers in three weeks.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Say My Name

I just finished reading Trials of Shazam #6. I think the comic is immensely underappreciated. The story is interesting; the artwork is beautiful. I think a lot of the problems come not from the actual story, but the direction it is taking the Marvel family. However, this post is not about me sounding off about comics. Shazam got me thinking, “If I had had all the Wizard’s magic and my champion muttered my name what powers would he get?” So in Trials of Hatton #6, Freddy Freeman is in trouble. Kneeling, he harnesses his energies and whispers, “Hatton.”

My champion gains six very necessary powers to fight for truth and justice.

H – Hardcase – Anonymity

My champion needs a certain air of the mysterious. Become too famous and every Joe Jetpack and Sally Stungun will be out to do him in. Thus, my hero will be imbued with the power to be forgotten. Nothing says, “Who was that masked man?” better than Malibu Comic’s Hardcase. I know it is hard to overlook a superhero whose powers included enough strength to throw a car fifty yards or heal quickly (faster if he was drinking seawater) yet; somehow he has fallen into the murky sands of time. Must be a superpower, one he was only too happy to share.

A – Astroboy – Cuteness

My champion needs the ability to disarm his foes without using his fists. A certain level of adorability comes in handy here. He runs up to some villain who, seeing those big watery eyes and scamp’s smile, lowers his deathray. Then it is, “SNICKER-SNACK,” elbow to the face. The robot creation of Dr. Tenma strikes just the right cord in this department.

T – Tyroc – Fashion Sense

Any person with superpowers can slap on a pair of hot pants and a leopard-print shirt and go fight some crime. However, my champion needs to sport some classier dudes. Tyroc, the former member of the Legion of Superheroes, gladly answered when the call went out for this power. Just look at him. Skin-tight, high-collared white unitard cut all the way down to the navel. Topped off with elf boots, chains and some ornamental metal discs; can this man dress or what?

T – Typeface – Tenacity

My champion needs the ability to stick it out under any circumstances, to hang in there. Typeface throws in this power. In the comics the character didn’t exactly make a big mark on the world, except maybe on the bus that Venom walloped him with in Civil War. However, to climb up from the night of Beer Pong and Quarters that obviously led to his creation and actually make it onto the page shows why this signsmith turned super-villain turned vigilante is the guy for me.

O – Onomatopoeia – Dialogue

Every hero needs the ability to banter well, and my champion is no exception. Still, I would prefer him to be a hero of few, but well-chosen words. The only villain in the list of power lenders, Onomatopoeia was selecyed because of his ability to be succinct yet observant. It doesn’t get more to the point than saying the sound effects that you hear.

N – Ninjak – Sex Appeal

Like Captain Kirk or Lee Majors, my champion needs to be able to get the girl, to woo the woman. After all, James Bond will tell you that sometimes a wink and a nod is the only thing standing between you and death. Thus, I asked Ninjak to help out in this department. A British ninja with a sword that folds into its handle, does it get any more attractive than this? We’ll let the following panel speak to that fact.

The smoke clears and Freddy Freeman stands transformed.

Look out.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Taking It Outside

So something hasn’t been sitting right with me over the last month or so. Like that popcorn kernel that just won’t come unstuck, I’ve decided that there is a character that has been dealt a raw deal. I’m talking about a character who has time and time again thrown herself in the path of danger and still gets no respect.

I’m talking about Halo.

There have been some posts over at The Absorbascon (here and here, scroll down you'll find them) that suggests Halo is not a hero deserving her due. I say that that is some narrow thinking. The energy-being-possessed-Violet Harper was handpicked by Batman himself to be on his Outsiders. If the Dark Knight sees her as worthy I think that should be enough. If it is not enough let’s see some of Halo’s greatest hits.

Here she is taking the fight to the Anti-Monitor. One of the "Most powerful beings who have ever lived or will live."

Here she is putting her life on the line during the global prison break during Infinite Crisis. Life. On. The. Line.

Most recently, here she is helping to guide the lost space heroes back to Earth.

In conclusion, Mr. The Absorbascon, not only does Halo save little girls but with a kind heart and a smile as well.

When was the last time your precious Vibe did any of this? Oh wait, he'd have to pry those mechanical hands off of his throat first.

The Importance of Being Booster

O.k. so I know I’ve dogged out Booster Gold on this blog before (here and here.) I will most likely call him out again. I mean come on; fighting the good fight or not he is still kind of a doof.

However, do not let these jokes suggest that I do not understand the character’s role in the DCU.

Booster Gold was the first character introduced Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths. He traveled from the future, a bright new future where anything cold happen, to stake his claim in the new singular Earth. He was DC’s claim on what was to come in their comics. All tied up in the smug grin of Michael Carter. I won’t go into the fact that he took his hits from Doomsday with the best of them. I won’t go into the fact that he lost his sister while fighting the 1000. I will put up these:

This panel comes from Booster Gold #25, which was smack dab right in the middle of DC’s Millennium crossover. Millennium was DC’s first major weekly crossover post-COIE. It dealt with the last Oan trying to put together a new group of Guardians of the Universe. The Chosen would lead humanity in their next stage of evolution; would lead humanity to immortality. Apparently, Booster is their descendant. “Who remembers this nonsense?” you ask. Well, the Steve Wacker said in the very first 5.2 About 52, “Go out and pick up some issues of his old series while you're picking up 52 this week.” So apparently, the 52 writers remember this stuff. Sure it was a shameless plug but maybe something much more.

I’m going to digress for just a second. Originally, there was supposed to be twelve Chosen but that was back then so who knows how many there are now…52 perhaps? Booster leading the charge perhaps? Millennium’s twenty year anniversary is this year and we know how DC love’s anniversaries,

With his own title kicking off very shortly, Booster is back, front and center. I will leave off with this. At first I thought:

Meant these guys.

Maybe it means this guy.